Do you ever feel like you're stuck in an endless cycle of planning, rebranding, and "getting ready" but never actually doing? You’ve got big dreams, a shiny new planner, and maybe even a vision board... but instead of taking action, you're just rearranging the deck chairs. Sound familiar?

I’ve been there too—spinning my wheels, endlessly tweaking ideas, and convincing myself that if I just found the perfect strategy or niche, my life would magically fall into place. The result? Years of feeling unfulfilled and a growing fear that I’d never live up to what I knew I was capable of.

Here’s the thing: it’s not your lack of discipline, your niche, or your brand holding you back. It’s a lack of clarity on your values—the foundation of who you are and what drives you.

Without clarity on your values, every decision feels like a gamble. You hesitate, you falter, and you end up on the sidelines of your own life, watching as others lap you.

Why Fear Feels So Real (And Why It’s Actually Outdated)

Let’s get real: it’s not just fear of failure—or even success—that keeps us stuck. It’s fear of judgment. Fear of rejection. Fear of being ostracized. And while no one’s tossing us out of the tribe these days, our brains haven’t gotten the memo. Back in the day, being kicked out of the group meant certain doom. That fear? It’s still hanging around, keeping us stuck in a pattern of “play it safe” and “what will they think?”

The good news is that once you understand this, you can start to override that outdated wiring. But there’s something deeper that needs your attention before you can leap into action.

The Attachment vs. Authenticity Battle

From the moment we’re born, humans have two primary needs: attachment and authenticity.

Attachment is our need to connect, love, and belong—it’s essential for survival. Without it, a baby wouldn’t make it. And guess what? That need doesn’t disappear as we grow up. We’re wired to crave connection, which is why we build societies, families, and relationships.

Then there’s our need for authenticity: the ability to be in touch with our true selves—to feel what we feel, express it, and live in alignment with who we are.

But what happens when a child learns their authenticity isn’t welcomed by their caregivers? When expressing their true feelings risks rejection or disapproval?

Our parents send these messages unconsciously and often unwillingly, signaling that certain emotions or behaviors are “too much” or “not acceptable.”

So what does a child make that mean?

• “If I am authentic, my parents will reject me.”
• “If I feel what I feel, my parents can’t handle it.”
• “If I choose authenticity over attachment, I’ll lose the relationships my life depends on.”

The answer is simple: we suppress our authenticity for the sake of survival. As adults, we often don’t even know who we are anymore.

This pattern continues into adulthood. How many times have you had a gut feeling or a creative urge, only to ignore it because you feared it might jeopardize a relationship, a job, or your reputation? Over time, suppressing these parts of ourselves becomes second nature, and we pay the price in the form of unhappiness, illness, regret, or a mediocre life.

So, How Does Clarifying Your Values Actually Help?

Well, for one, it’s not even really about your values. It’s about what those values represent: your core identity—who you are at your very foundation.

Because we’ve spent so much of our lives suppressing our authentic selves, adapting to fit in, and picking up people-pleasing tendencies to maintain attachment, many of us have completely lost touch with who we are. We’ve learned to mold ourselves to situations, circumstances, and environments to survive.

Personally? I’ve become a pro at adapting like a chameleon. I could be whoever people needed me to be. I knew exactly how to perform to be liked, respected, or accepted.

But when it came time to start my own business and build my brand? That was a whole different story. I couldn’t stay consistent with one niche, one brand identity, or even one persona.

Some days, I’d be basking in my spiritual, grounded, feminine energy—meditating, feeling one with the universe, and thinking, This is who I am! I’d create a brand around that vibe and feel great about it... until a week later, when I’d tap into my boss-bitch energy, get hyper-productive, and decide I was meant to be a no-excuses, hustle-hard productivity coach.

And then, of course, I’d hit burnout (because nobody can keep that up forever), scrap the whole thing—brand colors, offer names, everything—and start over, trying to figure out what aligned with me. Was I a productivity coach? A mindset coach? Maybe just a writer, a philosopher, or a content creator?

The truth is, my brand and business were mirrors of my inner conflict. I want to say I was trying to figure out who I was, but the truth is, deep down, I always knew. I was a total star. I just didn’t dare to fully own it and embrace all parts of me, unapologetically.

The Difference Between Fleeting and Solid Identity

Owning who you are starts with understanding the difference between a fleeting identity and a solid one.

Fleeting Identity #1: "I’m a content creator helping people with productivity on social media."
This is narrowly tied to what you do, not who you are. If your audience shifts or your platform changes, this identity risks feeling irrelevant.

Solid Identity #1: "I am someone who values empowering others to live boldly and reach their potential—no matter the medium, the situation, or the environment."
This is rooted in values that don’t change with circumstances.

Fleeting Identity #2: "I’m feeling inspired after meditation, so I’m someone who has a gentle and grounded approach to mentoring and loves teaching alignment and mindfulness."
This might feel amazing when you’re in the flow, but as soon as life gets chaotic, it’s hard to maintain.

Solid Identity #2: "I’m someone who values personal growth and seeks balance, even when life feels chaotic."
This identity is grounded in the value of growth, allowing you to stay committed no matter what.

Owning Your Authenticity

But here’s the thing: owning who you are is not for the faint of heart. Authenticity requires vulnerability, and vulnerability is scary. It means risking judgment, rejection, and even failure. But it also means freedom—the freedom to stop performing, stop people-pleasing, and stop living small.

For me, the moment I stopped trying to fit myself into a niche and started embracing all parts of who I am, things began to flow. Instead of asking, What niche will people respond to? I asked, What do I deeply care about? Instead of thinking, What brand colors will make me look credible? I asked, What feels true to me?

When you’re rooted in your values and living in alignment with your authentic self, you become magnetic. People are drawn to you—not because of your perfect branding or polished messaging, but because authenticity is irresistible.

Your Next Bold Move

So, how do you start living from your core identity instead of a fleeting one?

1. Identify Your Values. Write down the five things that matter most to you in life. These are your north stars.
2. Ask What’s Non-Negotiable. What are you no longer willing to compromise on? This helps you set boundaries that protect your authenticity.
3. Commit to Being You. Decide—right now—that you’re done shapeshifting to please others. Write a declaration of who you are and revisit it daily.

The truth is, you already know who you are. That spark inside you, the one that’s been whispering to you your whole life? It’s time to listen. You don’t need a rebrand, a niche, or a perfect plan. You just need the courage to embrace your full, unapologetic self and take bold action toward what you truly want.

Because when you stop hiding, stop holding back, and start showing up as you—unapologetically—you don’t just build a business or a brand. You build a life.

So, are you ready to stop spinning in circles and start living boldly? The world is waiting for you to shine.